Don't know where the time goes. But got through Thanksgiving okay. It was harder this year than last. Looking back, it seems the first Thanksgiving without Kevin was an aberration, a one shot deal somehow. But the second Thanksgiving without Kevin is proof that I will never spend another one with him. Not looking forward to Christmas. And to anyone who thinks that it gets easier with time, please note: it at first gets harder with time.
And it doesn't help that I'm confronted constantly with health news about heart attack risks and even worse, prevention. My favorite so far is the hostile heart theory - now Kevin was my best friend so I say this with love and affection - but he basically didn't really like people - individuals, yes; people? Not so much. Anyone who had ever been on the receiving end of a Kevin zinger should agree with me. (He'd be really pissed if he was made out to be something he wasn't -- and while he was a saint when it came to dealing with me, he had an Irish mean streak a mile long and 10 feet high, as I used to tell him.)
Following a close second are the new guidelines for performing CPR. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask myself at some point: what if I had known CPR, could I have helped him? The attempt I made with instructions from the 911 operator were feeble at best. Good days are when I don't dwell on that too long. Bad days are when I can't let go of it.
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